I still maintain….

Posted: December 11, 2010 in All and Sundry

that I’m in love with you. But I will have to let you go.

I wish I could do it so fast. Rush on. Let go like when you drop a pebble into the river–you open your palm, and the pebble falls fast into the water, gravity at its best, it falls deep on the river floor and never floats back up to the surface.

But you are not that pebble. I am letting you go slowly like dropping a paper boat onto the river, and it floats, and I watch it get carried away by the current. Drifting away. Drifting steadily away from me.

This baffles me.

I can’t for the life of me understand why erasure is not possible. I want to let you go now. I love you but I want to let you go. You are an open wound festering. I refuse to deal with you. But I have to. Because you are still in the corners of my heart, just on the edges of reason.

I still maintain that I love you. But indeed, I will have to let you go. It is in fact the perfect decision for my sanity’s sake. And also for our sakes. We shall move on with the current. Drift, drift away. Maybe with some distance everything will be clearer.

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