walking away

Posted: August 19, 2006 in All and Sundry

when you walk towards the stage you see him there tuning his bass guitar. somebody told you the band is doing their soundcheck. “ah see,” you mutter unintelligibly and walk on.

you don’t look at him. at least you try not to. things will be different if you will stare. but you can’t help it.

he’s standing there, head bowed, his body moving rhythmically with his bass guitar; fingers jumping on the frets like pixies dancing on strings. suddenly, he looks up, sees you and grins, then looks away.

you think you’re unimportant. so you stand there fidgeting with your last stick , while you debate with yourself whether to stay until he stops playing or just leave and never look back again; let go of the pattern you always drag yourself into.

leaving is easier than sticking around. so you slowly wheedle your way out of the gathering crowd. outside, the evening air is cold, it makes you shiver, so you start moving on, walking away, far away from it all.

a few minutes after, your phone rings. you read the message, asking you where you are. you didn’t know where the message came from so you ask, “whos this?” you wish it is from him. but you’re aware that you can’t be sure. there’s no use running after the past.

it is from him. he asks you why you left. you reply saying you were hungry. it is a lame excuse, you know it, but you don’t care. “let’s meet up later?” he replies. you tell him yes , even though you’re not really sure if you’re coming back to see them play. the crowd would be too large later and you don’t like crowds. still, you tell him you were coming back.

then you continue walking until the stage becomes a tiny psychedelic dot. then it was time you allowed yourself to smile.

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