visiting naked lunch

Posted: August 5, 2006 in Musings

“Into the sun, the south, the north, at last the birds have flownThe shackles of commitment fell in pieces on the ground”– Led Zeppelin, Achilles’ Last Stand

–me in my led zeppelin shirt! *picture taken a year ago. gaaad. i know, i look like a guy. *rock on!!

speaking of rocking on, i visited naked lunch’s grave last week. i haven’t visited him in months already but then one morning, i got a sms from penny saying: “la lang claire. i just missed boyd.” and somehow, i felt a little guilty for not visiting him these days. so i told penny: “me too.” which is also true.

a week ago, while i was lying down in my room praying for my back to heal, i suddenly felt the strangest gnawing feeling in my chest like a swelling wound. and along with that strange feeling is an unexplainable longing to talk with naked lunch. it was so weird. i wanted him to be there so i could rant about my condition and he’d be snickering and making jokes about me so i could in turn forget about mycondition. but he wasn’t around, of course.

yes, tatit, it was one of those insignificant days where there’s room for missing someone you spent insignificant moments with. but in my case, i think those moments weren’t that insignificant. i honestly enjoyed every moment with him including those times when he’d be such an asshole especially when he’s drunk.

“make up your mind. decide to walk with me, around the lake tonight, around the lake tonight. by my side…”
— toadies

so there i was sitting there in front of his grave, and i remembered that song he used to sing when i’m around in the computer room writing an article. he’d be screaming to his heart’s content and making mock pleading gestures at me. it was sooo juvenile but so fun coz it was soooo 90s, sooo alternative grunge. me, him, the whole thing.

i remember the first time naked lunch sang this song to me. it was the night before we were supposed to go to pikit to cover a story, and i couldn’t go because of so many reasons i can’t tell but i was also hesitant. a part of me wanted to go with him because it was going to be the first time i’d be able to ride a six by four army truck. astig. and so he kept on singing me that song to convince me to go. weirdo.

“you say the word you know i will find you or if you need some time i don’t mind. i don’t hold on to the tail of your kite…. go on and fly then, boy”– tori amos, sleeps with butterflies

well, nothing came out of the whole graveyard visit except me feeling a little dizzy after having smoked three sticks of marlboro lights. you see, every time, i’d visit naked lunch i always make sure to bring an extra stick for him lest he’d get really mad. so i sat there, smoked a stick with him, and talked on and on about life– my disappointments,realizations, lovespells, among other equally mundane subjects. i spent one whole afternoon there, just talking. goodness, people might have thought i was crazy, talking to myself like that. when i noticed the sun setting in the horizon, i realized that i had to leave.

it was good to talk with you after all these times. rock on, as we always say.

Comments
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