life with sciatica

Posted: July 8, 2006 in Uncategorized

for the past three weeks, i have been suffering from intermittent pain in my left buttocks, my left hip, left thigh, and my left leg has gone a little numb. i am currently terrified right now because i really don’t want to suffer the same fate i did seven years ago (if my memory serves me right) when i had to be bedridden for a month because my left leg was temporarily paralyzed ( i couldn’t feel a thing; it was limp as a flaccid penis *sigh*).

you see, i have sciatica.

sci·at·i·ca (sī-ăt’ĭ-kə) n.
Pain along the sciatic nerve usually caused by a herniated disk of the lumbar region of the spine and radiating to the buttocks and to the back of the thigh.

i herniated my disk or slipped one of my spine’s disks somewhere in the lower lumbar area seven years ago when i was playing basketball. i was driving towards the goal, did a lay-up and fell butt first on the floor and heard a slight cracking sound in my lower back. then my legs started to get really numb; i couldn’t walk. to make the long story short, i went though all the tests and i was diagnosed as having a herniated disk and sciatica.

life got really bad after being diagnosed with having a spinal illness. i mean, i literally became sedentary. i was afraid to run, play basketball, dance, do all sorts of physical actions. i was even afraid of having sex! because that means i have to use my spine…

but things changed when one of my doctors told me to exercise. i found yoga to be more relaxing and good in strengthening my spine. ever since i started practicing yoga, everything went fine until recently, i felt intermittent pain again. it’s such a hasssle!

i couldn’t work well and i’m slowly losing my appetite. the pain is just excruciating. by the end of the day, it would become very painful that i’d rather go home and lie down. i have a lot of backlogs to accomplish but i couldn’t stand sitting in front of the computer without feeling pain. most of all, i couldn’t dance. this is really bad since i have been practicing lately to prepare for that movement piece i’m going to do on samuel beckett’s rockabye. but i can’t even move my left leg 45 degrees up in the air or bend it low without feeling sharp pain. shittty, isn’t it?

i’m very afraid of growing old with a really poor spine. *shudder* i can’t imagine myself old and dry as a raisin, stooping so low with cane in hand. noooooooooo….

yesterday, i went to the alerternative medicine clinic in ponciano. the doctor told me to get an accupressure massage and noga treatment. i felt good after but then the treatment didn’t relieve the pain. i called him again, and he told me to talk to a physical therapist who in turn advised me to take bedrest for weeks to a month, depending on the results. shitty. (*this is the right time to say putang ina! shet! yawa! lolo!*)

and what i really really really hate is getting high on anti-inflammatory medicines. they make me groggy and dazed and confused and i couldn’t focus well because my reflexes would be too slow.

i’ll be a pain reliever junkie.

now, i’m beginning to feel really sorry for myself. i keep asking the universe why i got this ailment; why i’m so unhealthy. i’m still young, but my body is getting old and worn-out. i guess the karmic forces are working against me.

trainspotting was my favorite movie because it mirrored my past life . perhaps, i am now paying for it; for my sins; for not taking good care of myself when i was younger… *ah to be young and flighty…*

hey, sorry for the bad vibes. i guess i’m running out of good luck these days…

Comments
  1. ellatot says:

    hello mam claaaaaaaire! di kita maimagine nagbabasketball.. x_x but you mustve been good because you can do lay-ups! haha i had a friend who’s in the varsity who can’t do lay-ups wahaha.

    get well soon! and yonie and vivian said hi! 🙂 *poof*

  2. reefer says:

    ellatot! hehe. i played basketball in dula. didn’t you see me? hehe. yeah, i can do lay-ups. left and right. easy. but i can’t do a free throw. trust me.

    say hi to yonie and vivian for me. hope you’re all okay. miss having you in my class.

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